The Rain
by Porcuswine
Summary: Ziva's looking at the rain and thinking back to her past. Contains Tiva. I know the summary sucks, but that's the best I could think of. Read to find out more.


_I was sitting behind my computer and watching the rain when the idea came. At first I thought of making it a chapter of Zivaisms but it kinda like started it's own life and ran out of my hands. I didn't bother to go and catch it. So here's the result of me being in a really strange mood ;)._

_Disclaimer: I still do not own any of them, I only own my thoughts about them.  
_

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Ziva David looked out of the window. It was raining outside. She had various feelings about the rain. One one hand she liked it, the rain was something she had rarely seen in her homeland.

But on the other hand she absolutely hated it. It started coming down when she least expected it. It stuck her hair onto her face, soaked her like a homeless dog.

But at some point she found it calming. When she stood by the window at the NCIS Squad Room and looked out, she felt peace calming her mind. The rain was so lasting, so symmetrical, so... balanced.

Ziva felt like she had become one with the rain. Watching it pour from the sky, she didn't even notice what was going on around her. Her coworkers' hassling seemed to fade into nothing, into emptiness.

She felt her mind spinning back to the past. Reminding her of memories she thought she had lost forever.

Suddenly she remembered one moment so clearly as if she was actually there. One night in the past. One certain night, much like this one in the present, but at the same time so different.

Yes, she had felt the weight of her past then too, remembered all the terrible things she had done, but it was not the same. She had never imagined something like this could happen to her. That she would have someone she cared so much about, that everything else stayed far at the background.

She had hurt that someone. That special someone who she knew was still so close to her and yet so far like they'd lived on different planets. It was no excuse that he had hurt her too, she didn't find any excuse in hurting him like she had done it.

She missed him. Missed him like she had never missed anyone. She missed his smile, his laughter, the way he used to look at her. She missed the feeling that he was always there for her. But most of all, she missed the feeling that she could always trust him, no matter what happened.

She had lost that feeling. And she didn't believe that trust would come back so easily as it had come the first time.

Again she remembered that one night when they had stood in front of the hotel, drinking coffee. She had told him about her little sister, about Tali and what had happened to her. It wasn't a story she told everyone. Even now, after four years of friendship, trust and perhaps a little more of something, she didn't understand what was it, that made her trust him.

And then they were sent on an undercover mission, with the loss of her brother still hanging upon her. A brother she had killed. It was something that needed to be done, but even then it cut a wound in her heart.

And at that night, in that hotel room, she felt something she had never felt before. She felt love. Not some short one-night love but strong, real love. It hit her with all it's force and it was new to her. Strange. Nothing like that had ever penetrated the invisible shield she had built around her. A shield that made many people think she didn't care. She did care. But her experience had taught her not to show her affection.

At that night she let that barrier down. And she realized what it felt to be really loved. And from that moment she had trusted him fully, loved him. There was a special bond between them, something more than just between partners. A bond more likely between lovers, between family. It was a bond she believed could never be broken.

But it was broken and she wanted it back. She missed it harder than she had missed anything else in her whole life.

She knew she would regret it terribly if she didn't rebuild that bond, that trust and friendship now. Right now.

There was one name spinning in her mind. A name that meant so much to her. More than anything else. A simple name, consisting of four letters. Four beautiful letters that she had begun to love. Tony. He was all that mattered to her right now.

And at that moment she decided she'd do everything it takes to get that special bond back.

She drew in her breath and walked slowly to his desk.

"Tony," she started. "I think we should start over."

She saw a smile spreading over his face. They both had wounds that could not be healed in one day, but time could heal them.

And she looked into his eyes and saw that he was more then willing to forgive her. That he wanted it back too. She smiled back to him.

And there happened something at the same time behind the window and inside their hearts.

The rain stopped.

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_Hope you liked it. I am still not very sure what to think of it, so please, please review. Was it too poetical, too lyrical? Yeah, I can't find the right word at the moment, but it probably was. Strange, I mean. And please review. Thank you._


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